Am I Available?

I ordered a book the other day. To keep it cheap, I of course ordered it used from a website that I have trusted before. When it arrived, it appeared to be the book that I purchased, but when I opened it, it was much more.

You see, it had writings and questions from the previous owner filling up several of the pages. Statements and thoughts were underlined because they struck the heart of this woman. Her deepest thoughts and questions revealed and yet I don't know her.

As I continued reading, asking questions, and evaluating my own heart, I came to a section where she was honest with where her heart was. She was being honest with her perception of love.

Her entry (07.31.09) - Love: It's been "convenient" and conditionally expressed. It's been limited by what's comfortable by me and/or the other. I don't know how to give or know how to receive love any other way. How can I truly give and receive Love?

I don't know what conclusions she came to or what she decided, but this honest truth from a complete stranger really got me thinking about "availability".

Love requires availability.

Whether it be being available to the guidance of the Spirit, praising GOD for HIS goodness, to sitting with a spouse as he/she explains their day, answering one of the many questions children have, cooking a meal for a family, listening to a friend, getting that cup of coffee for someone who you know would like to have one, speaking that word of encouragement, to helping the woman down the street you see struggling to carry her bags, etc... am I available? are you available? How easy we can crowd our days with tasks and our own agendas that we miss the person right next to us.

I want my life to be a life of service and Love. I am available.

When Home Becomes a New Community

I left for a year and a half on a journey of experiences, of challenges, of meeting new people, of venturing to new places, of opening up to new thoughts, of breaking down walls, of building strong foundations, of vulnerability, of strength, of relationship. And my journey continues at home for a bit.

You see when I left, I left a place that was familiar and now have returned to a place that is different and new. I haven't and can't come back to a place that was, but have come to a place that is. Those here may not see the changes that have occurred over the years, the changes around them, or even the changes in themselves, but there is a difference.

And so I find myself facing this new community who too, is learning to embrace who I am. Like any other place, home too holds such joy and such challenges. To see the growth that has taken place in the heart of my family and friends is breathtaking. And yet, to know that time once again is needed to get acquainted with each other is challenging. And so I choose to use this time to invest in them, to invest in all those around me.

I remain in contact with my previous communities and embrace my new community. With each coffee time, dinner, get together, concert, ball game, lake party, bonfire, road trip, and just evenings together...we grow closer, we encourage and challenge one another, and our relationships grow deeper.

I'm home.